Corn tortilla or flour tortilla? Hard-shell or soft-shell? No matter what your preference, you are a one-of-a-kind taco eater. There are thousands of taco combinations and just as many ways to go about eating them.
Let’s make one thing clear – there is no right or wrong way to eat a taco. Some styles are messier, while others are clean and sophisticated. What’s your taco eating technique?
Directions: Place several napkins in your lap. Pick up both hands and wrap them around the taco in front of you. Place taco in mouth. Chew, swallow. Repeat.
This is by far the most common way to eat a taco. All you need is two hands and a couple of napkins to pick that mouth-watering taco up and eat it like a champ. An old-fashioned taco eater isn’t influenced by convention, but is simply looking for the fastest way to eat as many tacos as possible. This technique is recommended for both first-time and veteran taco eaters. WARNING: this style can get messy. We recommend a solid stack of napkins before enjoying.
The Neat Freak
Directions: Place a fork in one hand and a knife in the other. Carefully cut bite-sized portions of taco, stab with fork, and insert taco bites into mouth. Enjoy.
The neat freak is a unique type of taco connoisseur. These eaters become anxious whenever eating tacos because of the high probability of making a mess. If you’re wearing your favorite shirt or just got set up on a first date, then this is probably the style you want to go with. Use this technique if you want a clean, but slow way to devour your dish.
The Party Animal
Directions: Lift taco in one hand and margarita in the other. Switch off between eating the taco and sipping the drink. Order another margarita and repeat.
For those that are headed out to a late night party or watching the big game, this technique is always popular. The party animal has a hard time choosing what they like more – the taco or the margarita. This taco eater is typically adventurous and wild, willing to try a variety of tacos and margaritas to see which combo works best. Of course, this technique is only recommended for those with a strong stomach; too many tacos and margaritas can make for bad night. Disclaimer: if there is a party animal in your group, they may become slightly more obnoxious after several rounds.
The Hot Saucer
Directions: Find your favorite hot sauce and set it down next to your plate. Pour a generous helping of hot sauce onto the taco and repeat before each bite.
All of us know a hot saucer. These taco eaters are addicted to spicy foods and will stop at no lengths to find the strongest hot sauce in the restaurant. It is best not to get in the way of these eaters or try to convince them to enjoy the food regularly – there is no reasoning with these eaters. A hot saucer will place their favorite spicy elixir on the taco before each and every bite to ensure that each mouthful has the same fiery consistency. We always recommend a tall glass of ice water and a handful of napkins if you get too sweaty.
Directions: After ordering a soft taco, place thumbs and two fingers at one end of the taco. Slowly roll the tortilla up until it forms a long, skinny taco. Eat like a Mexican hot dog.
Taquitos? Flautas? Call them what you will. The roller is a dedicated taco eater that refuses to spill any of the taco’s juicy goodness onto the plate. This technique is the best way to cram the same delicious ingredients into each bite. The roller should always be willing to sacrifice a few minutes of pre-eating preparation in order to maximize their enjoyment. Of all the techniques listed, this is by far the most difficult to master.
Directions: Order several tacos. Grab a large handful of tortilla chips and throw them on your plate. Grab a fork and begin mixing everything together until you have a large mess of taco ingredients (i.e. a homemade taco salad). Eat with a fork.
Rather than just ordering a simple taco salad, these eaters always think they can make a better one. You’ll often see these eaters order a variety of perfectly good tacos, then mash them all up until it is an unrecognizable mixture of lettuce, meat, and cheese. If you use the Picasso technique, you probably think of yourself of a creative, avant-garde taco pioneer, even though that probably isn’t true.
Directions: Use a fork to carefully select only the taco ingredients you like the most and leave everything else on your plate. Make gross faces whenever you eat something you don’t enjoy.
The inspector is a picky, selective eater. The inspector will order a delicious taco, but refuses to eat a cohesive bite. This eater will hand-select only the pieces of chicken, steak or vegetables that look acceptable. We recommend this technique for picky eaters or for anyone who is venturing out to try a new, eccentric taco. In most cases though, it’s best to just eat the taco as intended.